I know I said I would have this second dosage of my encounters with Kankakee idiots up yesterday, but that obviously didn't happen. Turns out it's not going to be up today either. Sorry About Being Sweet (SABS). Instead of posting last night, I decided to go Halloween shopping with my Asian friend Brian. I set out to look for items for the entire cast of Napoleon Dynamite, while he searched for various accessories in order to be...an Asian man. Curious, I know. The plan went beautifully, however; not because we found fantastic costumes, but rather that we ended up drinking beers with two of the most fascinating characters I have ever come across. Stay tuned in to Club K3 because their stories will be up soon enough.
I feel like I should explain the new Club K3 Drunk of the Month since I failed to in the last post. Moral of the story is he's an overweight, bald idiot that we met outside of City Tavern. A group of us came there after a wedding, and when someone shows up to a bar/anywhere in Kankakee wearing a suit and tie, he or she is almost always subjected to a round of 20 Questions from some guy in a camouflage outfit. It's just that rare. Anyway, his bloodshot eyes took one look at us, decided we were Nazarene (I played along, telling him I graduated from the fictional Trinity Christian College...Go Fighting Friars!!), and began dishing out assumptions of our backgrounds and educations like his mom has dished out his dinners for some 28 odd years of his life. There was nothing else to do but bullshit with him and declare everything he said as true. We even let him believe that two of members of the group I was with were engaged, to which he was very congratulatory. I'm guessing it was mainly due to his realization that no woman would ever want to converse with him for more than 5 minutes, let alone spend the rest of her life with him.
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